Self control
by Sordino
Summary: Told from Edward's memory . Bella and Edward are hanging out at Edward's house. They find it hard to concentrate on their respective conversations. It has been a long day spent with the family. Now they just want to be with each other.


Alice was trying to get girly with Bella. I'm glad they are bonding, like sisters. All I can hear from the Alice is "glitter" "iridescent" and "gloss" and she is showing Bella pictures from Vogue magazine. Bella is leaning in looking. Her shiny auburn mane tied in a ponytail. I watch as she plays with it winding her hair through her fingers.

Jasper and Emmett are talking about the latest Maybach 62. Jasper likes it, Emmett and I disagree we like smaller more sporty cars. I look over at Bella again, she looks at me. I want her.

I know she must be tired, I indicate aloud to Alice that I'm going upstairs. She wants to finish telling her something. I think to her "_Alice, Bella is tired and I want to be with her upstairs, please wind it up" _Alice looks at me knowingly; she is probably one of the only members of my family I could say that too. She is an incurable romantic like me.

I go upstairs and make sure that the room is warm for Bella. I put on some soft lights and pick up a book to distract me till she comes upstairs.

A few minutes later I hear Bella come upstairs. She goes into the bathroom. If my heart could beat it would be thumping hard now.

Bella comes into the room and leaves her bag down, her hair loose and brushed out. Her smell is intoxicating. She asks me what I am reading. I try to concentrate. All I think I can manage to say is "a book" but I have to calm down and have a chat with her. I like when we hang out together and read and talk. She crawls onto the bed and works her way under my arm. Settling into me with her back resting on my chest. I look over her right shoulder at the book with her looking on.

I don't know if she meant this but the way she buried herself into me ruched up her shirt a bit. I could see right down the front. Her pale soft breasts and a cobalt blue lacy bra. I swear I could see her heart beating through her skin. I felt guilty for looking. She was asking me questions and I could only answer in one or two words I was so distracted.

I reached my hand round her and adjusted her shirt to keep her modest. I admitted in a round about way that I had looked at her. She put the book down and turned around straddling me. I knew what was coming, I had to stay strong.

She told me that I was "allowed" to look at her I told her basically I didn't want her to think I was a letch. She took it the wrong way and impersonated my uptight voice. I think I offended her she wanted me to touch her. I didn't need any mind reading skills to detect that. It was hard to refuse after what I had just caught a glimpse of.

I was ready to trace her collarbone when she asked me to put my hand on her heart. I continued to trace my fingers down and lay my hand flat on her skin over her heart. Her heart was beating like a hummingbird. I knew she liked this contact. She leaned in to kiss me I put my other arm round to the small of her back pulling her closer to me.

She put her hand over the top of mine and tried to guide in down towards her breast. I froze. "Edward" she said softly, I looked into her eyes and I could see the love and trust she had for me. I leaned my head against the headboard to calm me then slowly my hand slid down her soft skin and into her bra. I felt her body jolt as she let out a gasp that was so erotic.

I closed my eyes so I could focus on my breathing. I just held her still to compose myself. Too soon I felt her soft tongue licking my lips and darting in and out of my open mouth. I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on my breathing feeling her open my shirt and explore my chest with her fingers. I squeezed her breast so gently. Touching her tongue with mine.

I felt her soft skin under my hand turn to goosebumps and her nipple get hard. I wanted to put my mouth there to suck and kiss it. The thought of it made me exhale and moan. I didn't care. I rolled Bella down on the bed so I could be on top of her and in control. I was so deep in thought about it I didn't realise Bella had pulled of my shirt and was opening hers up. The full extent of her scent took me over. I managed to ask her to slow down. I knew she would know what I meant.

I took my attention way from her breasts by looking down her body. Her toned stomach…..I ran my hands down her sides to her hips. Licking and kissing every inch of her midriff. She was wearing jeans that rested on her hips. I sucked on her hip bones and rubbed my face on her soft skin. Bella was writhing, breathing so deep. Her hips were moving. I wanted to pull her jeans down further. I heard something drop to the floor, it was some of her clothing….the blue bra.

I looked up slowly. She was totally naked from the hips up. I sat up and straddled her; she was biting her lip because she knew what this was doing to me. She knew she would be in trouble later. I rested my hands on her ribs. Her auburn mane spread over the pillow she looked like a painting by Rosetti. All I could utter was how beautiful she was and how good she tasted. She smiled and exhaled probably with relief.

I just buried my face between her breasts nuzzling them and went up to her beautiful face, her lips were parted I traced my lips with her tongue. Her tongue met with mine and we kissed each other deeply. Bella's legs opened and she wrapped the round me pulling me too her. I felt that we would melt together. I couldn't help but grind my hips between her legs. She reached down and grabbed my hips and ass pushing me into her. The pleasure was rising in me to dangerous levels.

I broke away and went to work on her breasts. I closed my eyes as the visual would be too much I sucked and licked and kissed them so hungrily. I felt my throat burn and my bite coming on. Bella reached to the front of my jeans I growled softly telling her no muffling my growls into the pillow, this was getting dangerous. She slid her hand inside "Bella no!" I looked into her face.

I knew how intense my expression was by the look on her face. She was not afraid though. She apologised and I went to the window for air to clear my head. I wanted blood, I needed blood. I told her I needed to go out and hunt but I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I grabbed the nearest t-shirt and put it on. I tried to reassure her that I would be back soon. I was gone and on my hunt before she replied.

The run felt good. It helped the tension and frustration in my body. I made my kill quickly and feasted. It felt good. My body returning to a more balanced state.

When I returned Bella was in bed. I removed my jeans and got in beside her. She smelled of fresh soap and warm skin. I nuzzled into her hair. She turned round to look at me, her face seemed relaxed and reassured. I put my arms round her and told her that I thought she was beautiful and I would try this again some time with her. I told her that I loved her. The words flowing from my heart. She returned it back to me. I wound my legs with hers and held her close. I stroked her beautiful face and hair till she fell asleep in my arms.


End file.
